Not surprisingly, the award for the loudest nookie, or at least the most people that complain about it, in NYC goes to Brooklyn. Staten Island, sadly has the quietest sex of any boro with no sexual noise complaints in 2014 whatsoever. NYC noisy sex data come from 311 records and has been mapped out by DNAinfo New York.
Baller Brooklyn came in first place with 42 complaints, the top complainer being the set of lungs at 735 Gates Avenue in Bed-Stuy. According to actual New York City records, neighbors complained about hearing “very loud sex with the windows open that can be heard throughout the whole bldg,” and make a “ridiculously loud amount of noise,” including “moaning and screaming” and cries of “Oh yeah, oh, do it to me!”
Kinky Queens came in second place with 37 complaints followed by 31 in the Boogie-down Bronx and 23 in man-ohhhh-Manhattan. We’ll pretend that Staten Islanders have just as much loud sex as Brooklynites, but their houses are spaced farther apart.
You can see the rest of what noise New Yorker’s are complaining about in our Ultimate NYC Guide to Noise Complaints.