Featured Roommate Horror Stories

NYC Roommate Horror Stories with Matt Haze

Whether quirky, creepy or downright dangerous, roommate horror stories come in all shapes and sizes. Comedian Matt Haze talks to New Yorkers about their brushes with less than ideal roommates.

From: BrickUndergound

Chillingly Cheap Roommate

Case of the Chillingly Cheap Roommate at Michigan U

“Back in 2004-2005, I was a senior at University of Michigan.  My roommate was a girl, lets call her “C***ball”, and she was my best friend.  We had a great time living together, until winter rolled around.  Being tight on cash, since she spent all her money on weed, beer, and pizza, she complained about how much we were spending on the heating bill.

Keep in mind, our apartment was a half-basement apartment, in Michigan, in December.  It was colder inside our apartment than outside, in the snow.  The thermostat was by my room, so I would turn it up, and then after an hour or so, she would come and turn it down.  This happened all the time.   She said “just put on another sweatshirt”.  Um, no c***, I want to be comfortable in my own home and not freeze in 45 degree temperature in my room.  Plus I had bronchitis and severe anemia.  seriously, I have to freeze to death in my home with BRONCHITIS???  I thought, “OK, you want to do that?  then I will get a space heater.”

Bitch would come in my room at night and turn it off.  I woke up countless times from being so cold that I couldnt sleep anymore.   Her boyfriend was over ALL the time, and I never asked him to pay rent and I never complained.  Then one week she went away on a trip, and her boyfriend stayed in her room.  finally, I could put the thermostat on 70 degrees.  It was lovely.  She came back, and first thing she said was  “Kyle told me you had the temperature on 70 the whole time, so you should pay for it.” I was SO angry.  Good thing I was in charge of all the bills so I could charge her more somewhere else to make up for the lower heating bill payment.

Anyway, at the end of the year, I was relieved to get the hell away from her.  Out of one last act of kindness, I left the tv cable box there so she could watch TV for the rest of the month (I left earlier than she did).  All she had to do was return it before she left.  Of course she did NOT return it and I got charged $50.  Do you think I ever saw that money again?  No. Needless to say, we’re no longer friends.”

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